What Is Therapy With Gail Like?

Starting therapy can feel like quite a big step, particularly if you’ve never had counselling before. You might know exactly what you want help with, or you may simply know that something isn’t right and you’re tired of trying to work it out on your own. Both are perfectly good places to start.

Therapy with me isn’t about being analysed, judged or told what you should do. It’s a conversation and a relationship in which we can explore what is happening in your life, understand how it is affecting you and work together to find what might help.

A Person-Centred Foundation

At the heart of my work is Person-Centred therapy. This means that I see you as the expert on your own life. My job isn’t to tell you who you should be or make decisions for you, but to create a relationship where you feel able to talk openly and explore things that may be difficult to discuss elsewhere.

Being Person-Centred doesn’t mean I simply sit quietly and nod while you do all the work. I will listen carefully, ask questions, reflect things I notice and, when it may be helpful, gently challenge you. Therapy is something we do together.

Bringing CBT Into Our Work

I am also degree-trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT helps us understand how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours can affect one another.

For example, anxiety may lead us to avoid something that feels uncomfortable. Avoiding it can make us feel better temporarily, but it can also strengthen the belief that we couldn’t have coped with it. Overthinking can lead us to treat assumptions as facts. The way we speak to ourselves can influence how we feel and what we do next.

Where it is useful for you, we can identify these patterns and use practical CBT approaches to explore different ways of responding.

CBT isn’t about forcing yourself to think positively or being told that your thoughts are wrong. Used well, it can help us become curious about whether the way we’re interpreting something is helping us, whether there may be another explanation and what we might choose to do differently.

One Approach Doesn’t Suit Everybody

I work pluralistically. Put simply, that means I don’t expect you to fit the therapy; we work together to find therapy that fits you.

Some people want space to talk and understand themselves. Others find practical strategies helpful. Sometimes we need to understand something from the past because it is affecting life today. At other times, what matters most is dealing with something happening right now.

And what you need from therapy may change as our work progresses.

We can talk about that too.

What Can You Bring to Therapy?

Pretty much whatever is affecting you.

You might be experiencing anxiety, overthinking, stress, low mood, grief, trauma, relationship difficulties, workplace problems or conflict. You might be facing a major change in your life or questioning who you are after spending years concentrating on everybody else.

Sometimes there isn’t one identifiable problem. You may simply feel exhausted, overwhelmed, disconnected from yourself or aware that the ways you’ve always coped aren’t working anymore.

You don’t need a diagnosis to come to therapy, and you don’t have to wait until things become unbearable before asking for support.

What Can You Expect From Me?

You can expect warmth, honesty, respect and a genuine interest in understanding your experience.

There is room for difficult conversations, uncertainty and strong emotions. There is also room for humour. Therapy doesn’t have to feel solemn simply because we’re talking about serious things.

I won’t pretend to have all the answers to your life. I will bring my professional training and experience, but you bring something equally important: you know what it is actually like to live your life.

Our job is to bring those things together.

You Don’t Have to Know Where to Start

One of the things people sometimes worry about before counselling is what they’re supposed to talk about.

There isn’t a correct answer.

You can start with the thing that’s keeping you awake at night, something that happened years ago, an argument you had yesterday, something about yourself you don’t understand or simply: “I don’t really know why I’m here, but I know something needs to change.”

Therapy With Gail can help you make sense of what’s happening, understand yourself more fully and explore what you want to be different — without expecting you to have all the answers before we begin.